Day #15

Christmas. Two weeks to the day. 

Time flies. It feels like a month ago. Or maybe an hour. Time is weird for me right now. I've experienced big chunks of the day go by in the blink of an eye; other times it feels like time is standing still. Hmm, I guess I had similar experiences before, but it feels different now. More pronounced...

I've noticed over the last couple of days something interesting. It seems that everyone feels the need to wish me a "Merry Christmas", even the people who know.  While uttering "thank you" through gritted teeth, my mind, upon hearing these words, has been screaming: "There is nothing "merry" about this Christmas. Are you insane or just cruel?" This followed by some saltier thoughts of where these Christmas well wishes could be placed. No, the holidays will not be filled with joy or happiness. At least not for me...but, hold the phone, what about someone else?  

Early this afternoon, I did something altruistic. For 5 people I don't know. It was audacious and unconventional, and it felt...good. (Full disclosure: I can't take credit for the idea. That honor goes to my wife and someone we both hold very dear. My involvement was limited to the execution of the plan.)

Later, after returning home, I looked up the origins of the expression "Merry Christmas". Turns out, it's been around for 500 years and has a slightly different meaning than "happy Christmas". Whereas "happy Christmas" is meant to speak to a person's inner joy or state of mind, "merry Christmas" is more about action and doing. As with the etymology of many expressions, class distinctions may have also played a role "...because 'happy' took on a higher class connotation than 'merry', which is associated with the rowdiness of the lower classes". The word 'raucous' was even used. I like that - do something 'raucous'. I think Damian would approve. 

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