Day #28

When words will not suffice all we should do is hold on. Firmly but with gentleness. 

I've known my wife for the better part of 35 years. Dawn and I were first acquainted in the summer of 1987 but didn't start dating until the fall of '88. We were married in 1993 and enjoyed 12 good years as DINKs before Damian was born in 2006. 

Because we had waited as long as we did to have Damian, Dawn and I had the luxury of her being a stay-at-home mom, a role which she absolutely relished and excelled at. Dawn arranged play dates and parties, took Damian to all his appointments, drove him to school and picked him up, ditto for sports activities including out of town sailing events, volunteered at many of his schools, and, yeah, wow. They were inseparable for the first few years of his life. 

While I missed the extra income, I was happy that they had this time together. In truth, I was envious. I like to think that I would have enjoyed being a stay-at-home dad, but what I really wanted was that extra something the two of them shared. Dawn would tell me quite often that there was nothing that she and Damian couldn't talk about. They were just tight. 

Last night was maybe the second toughest of my life as the full weight of what has happened took hold of Dawn and wouldn't let go. It was a level of anguish that I had never seen her experience in all the time that I've known her. Not even close. As there was nothing I could say that was going to take away the pain she was feeling, I did the only thing that I could –  I held on, firmly but with gentleness, and didn't let go. 

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