Day 62

Sold the boat today.  Well, to be more accurate, I have a buyer lined up. He has paid a deposit so I'm considering it sold. 

I was wrestling with moving ahead but feel ok doing so now. The tipping point came yesterday when I had lunch with a close friend. I told John I was having reservations about selling the boat. After hearing what I was thinking and feeling, John told me that if he were in my shoes that he wouldn't be able to keep the boat.That it would be too painful to keep around especially considering the reason why we bought it - so Damian and I could sail together. He then said, that, in time, I'll find something else that feels right. And he was right so today I posted it on Facebook and had it sold in less than hour. 

I spoke to the buyer and he sounds like a nice guy. Good sailing pedigree (J24, E scow, A scow, etc.) with a wife and a couple of children - a girl who is 11 and boy who is 6 - who are all into sailing. They should have a blast. It makes me feel good to know the boat is going where it will be used and enjoyed.

Before I sold the boat, I had spoken to Dawn about it several times. She told me each time that I would know when I was ready to let it go; that there was no rush. Dawn also told me that she would support me when that day came. When it came today it threw her for a loop. As she described it to me, selling the boat was just another reminder that all our plans for the boat died with Damian. I think this may have been one of the reasons why I had some trouble letting go - I didn't want to face the reality of what parting with the boat would mean. While I already worked my way through it in the days leading up to now, she's now dealing with it head-on. And it hurts. This is how grief works: different stages and feelings at different times for different people. Even two people who are as close as we are and mourning the loss of the same person. 

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