Day 104

I had to go into the office today. I was really torn...about what to wear. 

Since the pandemic started, I've worn shorts and a (nice) t-shirt almost every day of the week. On chillier days I would also throw on a sweatshirt. But never pants. NEVER. Not unless you count the track pants that I occasionally slip on over my shorts. My footwear of choice is always Keen Coronado canvas sneakers with ankle-length gray athletic socks. While my ensemble isn't going to win any fashion awards, it is extremely comfortable and, shall we say, "shabby chic". 

My pre-pandemic wardrobe was much different. I would wear custom made dress shirts with expensive and stylish dress shoes. Pants were a mix of comfortable-but-attractive mass production non-denims (mostly from Kuhl) and tailor made slacks. On occasion, I would throw on a pair of Levis but this was mostly on Fridays. If I felt like turning up the heat, I might also throw on one of my bespoke sport coats. Yes, I spent money on clothes - some might say a lot of money -  but I have a good eye and know what I look good in. For the record, I look horrible in most off-the-rack shirts and jackets as they are rarely tapered. I often feel like I'm wearing a bag with sleeves. Ick. 

Working from home for going on 2+ years, the spark to get dressed up for work has all but disappeared. When I go to the office now, it's shorts, t-shirt, sweatshirt, gray socks and my well worn Keens. Same as if I were working from home. Which put me into a bit of a quandary today. 

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have given it a second thought, but today was different. I was invited to attend a meeting with ETI's board of directors. This isn't as impressive as it sounds. Two of the board members are the former owners of the company who I've known for at least 20 years. It was the third member of the board who was the outlier as we've never met. When I first got dressed, I put on my nicest pair of shorts - navy blue, knee-length cotton Timberlands - and a long sleeve Polo with Lakeview Academy embroidered on the left breast. As I was making coffee, I got the first niggles of doubt. "Hmmm...maybe I ought to wear pants today." Then I was beset by a raging internal debate as the anti-pants-me went toe-to-toe with the good -corporate-citizen-me. 

Anti-pants me (APM): "My son just died. I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. I have every right to be comfortable...in my grief."

Good corporate citizen me (GCCM): "Really? You're going to use Damian as an excuse to come underdressed to a board meeting? Get over yourself."

APM: "My body, my choice, motherfucker!"

GCCM: "Hang on. Let me get The Man on the phone so you can tell him off. Oh wait, I forgot - you are The Man."

APM: "I'm the man with the dead son. If they can't handle what I'm wearing, that's their problem."

GCCM: "We both know you are going to feel like an idiot if you walk into the board room in a pair of shorts and the new guy is in a suit." 

APM: "...You might have a point."

The board meeting went well. The new board member, who was NOT wearing a suit, was nice and very inquisitive. He asked a lot of intelligent questions about our products and product strategy. After the meeting was over and we were saying our goodbyes, he offered his condolences regarding Damian. It was a nice gesture. But I am NOT wearing pants again.  

At least not this week.