Day 110

Early this morning I learned the following:

  • The nominal blast radius of a full quart of unsweetened almond yogurt when dropped from a height of 4 1/2 feet onto a laminate wood floor is 7 feet 3 inches
    • Isolated instances of yogurt traveling in excess of 10 feet are also a distinct possibility
  • Dogs have no interest in eating unsweetened almond yogurt even if it is fresh out of the refrigerator, conveniently located on the kitchen floor and unguarded by humans
  • It takes approximately 25 minutes and 3 gallons of water to clean up a quart of unsweetened almond yogurt that has been dropped onto laminate wood flooring from a height of 4 1/2 feet
    • The clean up will require an additional 8 minutes and 1 gallon of water if there is carpet within the 7' 3" blast radius
  • The time and number of gallons of water required to clean up the blast zone (inclusive of carpet) from a quart of unsweetened almond yogurt dropped from a height of 4 1/2 feet onto a laminate wood floor is unaffected by the number of curse words uttered by those effecting the clean up during the clean up process 
  • When given the opportunity to assist in the blast zone clean up of 1 quart of unsweetened almond yogurt dropped from a height of 4 1/2 feet, my wife will opt out citing the biological imperative of her morning constitutional as being "...more pressing"
  • The duration of my wife's morning constitutional is identical to the time required to clean up the blast zone of 1 quart of unsweetened almond yogurt dropped form a height of 4 1/2 feet
    • No data is available regarding any correlation relative to the water requirements of these two seemingly unrelated activities
  • Dropping a full quart of unsweetened almond yogurt from presumably any height is a TERRIBLE way to start the day
3/30/2022 - Yogurt bomb damage (US Army photo)


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