Day 116

Sailing and sailboat racing played a big role in Damian's life. From age 6 until he died, he spent a lot time engaged in one or the other. I make the distinction between racing and not racing because, while they may appear to be one and the same, they are as different as running a 5K is from going on a leisurely walk.  Concentration, physical exertion, and endurance are all in high demand when engaged in racing sailboats; pleasure sailing not so much. What they have in common is spending time on the water in or on a sailboat, hopefully with people whose company you enjoy, and having fun. While Damian and I both shared a love of sailing, we rarely raced together on the same boat. When we did sail together, it was quite often just for the fun of it. And we definitely had our share of good times on the water. But sailing wasn't the only passion that we shared. 

When Damian was around 8 or 9, he came to me one day and told me that he wanted to learn how to ride a dirt bike. I was thrilled by the idea, but needed to run it by Dawn first to see if she was also cool with it which she was which was. Dawn is really cool in this way. She never wanted to get in the way of letting Damian be a boy and try different things even if there was some risk involved. The complete opposite of my childhood. 

Growing up, I was told empathically and repeatedly that I was never - NEVER! - to get on a motorcycle, dirt bike, go-cart, etc. Basically, anything with an engine that was fun to drive or ride on was strictly off limits. Any time I intimated even the slightest desire to engage in this type of activity the response was always the same: "Do you want to be an organ donor?" The perils of having a parent who used to be an operating room nurse.

Within a few weeks having secured Dawn's ok, I had Damian enrolled in a 1-day dirt bike training class where they teach students the essential skills needed to ride safely and with confidence. His instructor covered everything from the proper gear to wear, to how to start the engine, how to move forward, how to stop, and, eventually, how to change gears. Not surprisingly, Damian was hooked immediately. On our way home that evening he asked me if he could get a dirt bike. I told him that I would need to talk it over with Dawn which was tough because I really wanted to say yes right then and there and buy him one on the way home. 

Because she is a super cool mom, Dawn consented to letting me buy Damian his own dirt bike. The only stipulation being that it had to be a used on. No problem. I immediately went on CraigsList and found a bike for sale only a few miles from our house that was the same make and model as the one Damian had trained on that day – a Honda CRF110. I brought it home later that evening but wouldn't let him ride it because he didn't have any gear. The next morning, Dawn, Damian and I drove to go a local cycle shop to get him kitted out – helmet, boots, gloves, pants, shirt and goggles. When we got back home, I let him drive his bike around the cul-de-sac. I had almost as much fun watching him as he did riding. Almost. 

A few weeks later I got my own bike – a used KTM 250 XCF-W – so Damian and I could ride together. At first it was tough to find places to ride but a colleague turned me on to this large ATV park southeast of Athens called Durhamtown. The place is massive, several thousand acres, with all kinds of  tracks and trails for dirt bikes, quads and ATVs. The only downside is that it's nearly a 2 hour drive each way, but I looked at as good father-son time. Just the two of us going to play in the dirt. 

                                       

             January 2, 2016 - Born to ride 

  

January 2, 2016 - Lunch break

We would talk, or listen to music or an audiobook - Stephen King's Firestarter was our first audiobook that we listened to together. After a hard day of riding, Damian would always look at me as we were going through Athens on the way back home and ask, "You know what I'm thinking?" 

I did know, but it was fun to play along. "No, what?"

"We should stop for ice cream," he would say with an impish smile. There is a Dairy Queen on the north side of Athens that we stopped at the first time we came home from Durhamtown. All it took was that one time and just like that it was part of our Durhamtown dirt bike day ritual.

I don't know how many times Damian and I went to Durhamtown over the years. Probably less than 15 but we always had fun. (I went by myself once and broke my wrist. That was not a fun day.) It was so cool to see Damian get more comfortable in his riding over the years but mostly I just enjoyed the time that we were able to spend together. Getting dirty in the process just made it that much better. 

June 2, 2016 - Still clean

June 2, 2016 - A day playing in the dirt is a good day

June 2, 2016 - Time for ice cream

The last time Damian and I went to Durhamtown was the last day of his summer vacation this past August. We went on Friday which was great because the place was EMPTY. We were the first car in the parking lot and were probably the only car in the parking lot for a couple of hours. I had rented bikes for both of us. He had outgrown his previous bike - a Kawasaki KLX 140 - and I had sold mine because it was getting hard to find parts and nobody would work on it any longer on the grounds that it was "too old". (It was 11.) It had been quite some time since our last visit thanks to my motorcycle accident in 2019 (street bike) and COVID. 

Damian had asked me as the summer was winding down if we could go back and I said sure. I had a TON of fun that day mostly because Damian had gotten so much better. It used to be that I would ride for awhile and then stop on the trail to wait for him to catch up. As his riding improved over the years, I was able to ride for longer intervals before stopping and wasn't stopping as long before he would pass me by. On this last trip, I had a hard time keeping up with him; he was like a jackrabbit on the trail. After 3 1/2 hours of riding, it was time to call it a day, turn the bikes back in and head for home. Another successful trip to Durhamtown in the bag. Unfortunately it was to be our last. At least together. 

August 13, 2021 - Damian with his rental bike

August 13, 2021 - Our last ride

Unlike sailing and the sailing club, I don't feel any anxiety about going back to Durhamtown or riding again without Damian. I think this is because we didn't do it that often and I have no relationships with anyone there. I may get sad on the drive to Durhamtown or on the way back home- to be determined - but I'm pretty sure that I will go back. When I do, I will probably stop at Dairy Queen and have a milkshake or a Sundae. That is one tradition I will carry on. It's what Damian would have wanted.