Day 118

Dawn and I flew to Sarasota this morning. The flight down was uneventful. A few bumps on the descent, but nothing of any consequence. Once I stepped off the plane and into the airport, I was greeted by a memory of Damian-past. 

In February of 2021, Damian and I had flown to Sarasota for a sailing regatta. (Whenever you fly to a regatta, you get to employ the phrase “ I rock starred it” as in “I rock starred it for the Melges 15 regatta in Sarasota.” You don’t get to use this phrase if you drive since, well, everybody drives. Only rock stars get to fly to their gigs.) Not wanting to miss too much work or have Damian miss much school, flying was the best option. So we flew in on a Friday morning and drove with another friend and his son (KC and Kellen) from the airport to the sailing venue. Being back in the airport today was enough to bring back all the memories of that weekend 14 months ago. (If I’d known then what I know now how different would things have been then? Or now?) I was surprised by how vivid these memories are. I have a really hard time remembering a lot of things, but for whatever reason that trip is imprinted in my brain like a favorite movie that I’ve watched countless times… 

After Dawn and I stopped for a late breakfast in Bradenton (just north of Sarasota), we drove west out onto the outer islands that the parallel the coast. As we got closer to where Damian and I hung out that weekend last February, I decided to take Dawn there. We had time to burn since we couldn’t check into our AirBnB until 3PM and it was right on the way so easy decision. 

The Sarasota Sailing Squadron’s (SSS) facility is on a point on the western shore of Sarasota Bay. It’s not a fancy “yacht club” but it is in a prime location with good access to the bay and to the ocean and they have a respectable pavilion, clubhouse and bathhouse. There are lots of sailboats, almost all under 25 feet, dry docked there. (Dry docked refers to a boat being stored on land rather than being in the water tied off to a dock like in a marina.) Walking around the SSS property this afternoon, I was again having vivid memories of my trip with Damian, remembering many of the little details that should have evaporated not long after we headed back home to Georgia. At one point, the memories were so intense that I briefly thought having a hard cry was a possibility. (Didn’t happen.) 

After Dawn and I left SSS, we drove over the causeway and back to the mainland, a drive that I remember doing several times last year. We passed the hotel where Damian and I stayed, the Publix grocery store that we went to to buy sandwiches and other supplies. I don’t know why all these memories came rushing back. I haven’t experienced anything like that at our house and that’s where I lived with Damian for nearly 16 years. So why here?

I will say this: The trip that I took with Damian in February of 2021 was one of the best weekends of my life. I was happy to spend time with him and super proud of who we he was and who he was becoming, not just as a sailor but as a young man on the verge of really finding his own way in life. As for the sailing, this was the first time that Damian and I were racing together in travel regatta, a regatta that was the real deal.  There were 30 boats competing that weekend, most with highly experienced crews. To be at all competitive both skipper and crew had to know their positions and execute well individually and as a team. Damian was the skipper and I was his crew. As the skipper he had full control over where the boat went. I could give him my recommendations but it was his hand on the tiller - the stick that you push or pull to steer the boat. And this was the first time either of us had been on this make and model of boat. For our first time out, we did really well. I think we finished in the high teens or very low 20s overall. We made a couple of mistakes that really cost us. If not for those, we could have easily been in the  low teens. But regardless of how we did, I was just elated to spend this time with Damian. 

February 27, 2021 - Melges 15 Winter Series Regatta #2

It was so evident that my boy was growing up quickly and was rapidly shedding the last vestiges of childhood. His maturity, confidence poise were constantly on display. (He was, alas, also a huge slob as I came to find out 30 seconds after we got into our hotel room. But as Dawn kept reminding me, he is / was a teenage boy which I assume is mom-speak for “this is normal”.) It was both humbling and an honor for me to be with him that the weekend. Humbling because he was no longer living in my shadow; it was clear that time had passed. An honor because I know I played my part in helped get him to this point and now it was time to let him spread his wings and soar. And without my help. Just writing about it now makes me smile…

Damian, 

Greetings from Sarasota. 

Your mom and I stopped at the Sarasota Sailing Squadron today and walked around for a few minutes. Not much has changed. They still have a lot of Melges 15s on the property, but I didn’t see any VX1s. They moved the VX1 winter series to Pensacola so that may be why. I also just read that  the M15 winter series is moving to Jensen Beach next year. I think it’s because they have too many boats for SSS to handle. They had a lot of people trying to get in this year even with the cap set at 70 boats. It will be interesting to see how many boats Jensen Beach can accommodate. 

I was telling your mom about how much fun I had sailing with you when we were here. That weekend was really special to me. I was so proud of you but also just thrilled to spend time with you like we did. I’ll never forget it. For what it’s worth, I think you and I would have made a formidable team on the Melges 15. While I’m sorry that we never got to find out how far we could go, I’m grateful that we had this weekend together. It really meant more to me than you will ever know. 

I love you, Kiddo. 

Dad. 

Dawn has booked us to go on  sailing cruise tomorrow afternoon – 3 hours around Sarasota Bay. This will be the first time I’ve been on a sailboat since Damian died. I’m ok with it because it’s not Lake Lanier and it’s very different style of boat than what I’m used to being on. I’m going into it completely relaxed and intend to just kick back and enjoy the view. I may not even let on that I know how to sail, but we will see what happens tomorrow. Fortunately, it’s not supposed to rain so that’s a plus.  

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