Day 139

Do I expect too much from people? Once again, I'm really annoyed with the sailing club or, to be fair, a person in a leadership position at the sailing the club. 

After nearly 3 months of complete radio silence from anyone regarding the memorial fund being set up in Damian's name, I decided today to take action and sent emails to the two people who could shed light on that status of this. I heard back from both. The short version is that money was given to the club back in February to put into the fund, paperwork had been filed with the government and apparently accepted. And then nothing. Zip. Nada. Only now that I reached and asked did the person ostensibly in charge of overseeing the memorial fund send me the updated charter and ask me to give it another read. Which begs the question: how long would this have sat idle had I said nothing? Hard for me not assume the worst and think "forever". 

Once again, people demonstrate to me through their action, or in this case inaction, how little Damian, or me and Dawn, mean to them. I want to seriously bite this person's head off. Let 'em have it with both barrels. The impulse to lash out is strong, but I am fighting it. But maybe I shouldn't fight it. So what if I just go off. I can rationalize that I'm entitled to be an asshole over this. I lost my son and doesn't seem to care. Right now, in the heat of the moment, I want this person to feel some pain and, if I'm lucky, shame and guilt. The counter arguments I'm wrestling with are that it will not have the desired affect because the person in question is clueless or possibly an idiot - it's a toss up - and that it will have more of an impact to provide a measured response that expresses how the handling of this has made me feel. To turn this into an opportunity to educate, to enlighten. The other part of my brain wants to stomp my feet, scream and throw things. Best to reassess tomorrow. Tonight I need to cool off. 

Do I expect too much from people or do some people just suck? 


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