Day 150

Dear Damian, 

Greetings from Wilmington. I'm visiting Aunt Emily. She misses you and wishes you were with me. With us. 

We just got back from dinner. We went to the Cape Fear Seafood Company. The last time we came to Wilmington the four of us had dinner there. (You really liked it.) I didn't remember it at first but once we pulled into the parking lot, it came back to me. It's in this unassuming little strip mall, just another unremarkable store front in a row of unremarkable store fronts. Fortunately, it's what's inside that counts. My meal was really good. It would have tasted better though if you or your mom had been here with us. 

On the way back to Emily's from the restaurant, I remembered this is where we would always go to the Army / Navy surplus store. That made me sad. Another one of our traditions that I'm not sure I can continue on my own. 

It's actually hard being here without you. I know how much you liked Wilmington. I know a lot of that is because of Aunt Emily, but I think you also just really enjoyed the city. There is a lot to do here. Today, Emily and I went for a walk along the riverfront, downtown. You may remember the Coast Guard cutter that was moored along the quay. It's no longer there. They relocated the ship about a year or so ago to a different city. (I forget which one.) Where it used to be is now a construction site. Not sure what they are building but there is a lot of construction going all around there. The area to the north of where the cutter was located is completely different now. I know that if you had been with us on our walk, you would have once again asked me why we don't move here. After what I saw today, there is a good chance that your mom and I may finally do just that.

I'm really missing you tonight. Not sure why – do I need a reason? – but your absence weighs heavily on my heart. I want so bad to give you a hug and run my fingers through your hair in another fruitless attempt to bring order to the red mop of chaos.  I want to look into your eyes, tell you that I love you and see the understanding of my words reflected back at me. I always knew that I loved you but I didn't realize how much until after you were gone. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true. I also didn't know how much pain losing you like we did would bring. It was super tough in the beginning but it's getting easier. Not easy, just easier. 

I'll check in again in a couple of weeks. I hope your journey through the stars has been and continues to be amazing. 

Dad

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