Day 151

I hit a really rough patch a few hours ago. Had to pull the rip cord and talk to Andrea. That helped but I still feel really sad. I think it's this place. 

Wilmington is the source of a lot of good family memories. This is my first time here since Damian died so it's understandable that the flood of memories unleashed by being here combined with the constant awareness that there will be no new ones – at least not for the three of us – are pulling me down. So I spoke to Andrea. Her counsel was to go back to the basics: eat, drink, fresh air, write, talk, sleep. I've done all except the last. Collectively, they have helped, the sharp edges of today having been sanded off, my fall into the abyss checked.  I also know that tomorrow will look much better,..

Yesterday, Dawn received a text from Damian's girlfriend Lara that included these two poems that were written by some classmates in remembrance of Damian. 

                                            The Great Light 
                                                    Ian J. 
                      You were a friend of mine, our paths had intertwined 
                  The light that shines so bright was put out in the in night
              The beacon for happy faces had disappeared without any trace
                                     I still think of tomorrow, 
                            Sighing and heaving with sorrow

             I think of it to this day, The day the happiness faded away

                                    I told the stars about you
                                                Emilia H.             
                As I wept and pleaded with the moon for her to lead you back
               to me, she continued to stare with a blank expression upon my
                                         sorrow filled form
              You had left me so abruptly being ripped from my grasp just as
                                          I had reached you
               As I kneeled upon the earth before the sky, the stars gazed
                              down with a sympathy I had not yet felt
                 There upon my knees I ripped open my heart and from it
                      poured something that had not yet been released

Ian, Emilia, 

Thank your for your beautiful words. Based on what you wrote, I'm left with the overwhelming sense that you both felt very close to Damian and were profoundly impacted by his death. While Dawn and I are also deeply saddened by his absence, we are finding ways to move forward with our lives, painful though it may be be at times. I hope that you are able to do the same. To that end, I encourage you to keep writing for you both have a gift for it. People should be allowed to hear what you have to say, whatever it is. 

With kindness and respect, 

Chris Beisner