Day 156

This afternoon Dawn and I had lunch with Michelle and Randall at their home in north Georgia. They lost their son in July of 2020. I'm glad that we went today. I think it was good for all four of us. We were able to talk and share with the implicit understanding of having gone through a similar trauma. A horrible bond to share, but that's what we have. The starting place of our acquaintance. It's something that, over time, we can build on. Today was the first but important step in getting to know one another. I look forward to our next meeting for Michelle and Randall seem to be genuinely nice people...

Dawn had a rough go of it today. This morning was especially hard for her. Lots of tears. I suspect this was due to the surge of emotion that seems to follow a return home after being away for a few days. As Dawn was just in Iowa where most of her focus was on her mom, it stands to reason that Damian got pushed to the back. The surge in this case was likely inevitable. I think it helped her to sit with Michelle and talk. I could tell driving back home this afternoon that while not back to 100% Dawn was definitely feeling a little better than on the trip up...

Yesterday's graduation ceremony was still fresh in my mind this morning. I was mourning (and still am) the loss of potential and the lost opportunities – both Damian's and mine own. I am very sad that Dawn and I will not get to see our son graduate high school. To have the opportunity to celebrate not only Damian's accomplishment, but our own as parents. To bask in the glory of having raised an upstanding young adult who has the maturity and skills to move out of our house and go off to college. I won't get to hear my son's name mentioned in the roll call of graduates, to see him receive his diploma. Most of all, I won't get to hug him and tell him how proud I am of him and how much I love him, will always love him, in front of his classmates and friends, and their families. None of this is possible now and that makes me miss him that much more. 

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